Most people don't know me now... and since I was really lost before... most people don't know me. I've barely been able to say my name and know what that means until recently. But, I am "born again"... so to speak. And, I'm happy.
Life is simple, except when it is complicated. I live on the northern border of Los Angeles, CA. Andrejs and I rent a simple room. Together, for work we are a production sound team in the film industry. I am the sound mixer, Andrejs is the boom operator. I like my job.
I enjoy cooking, though it is challenging without a stove. I didn't really know how to cook until about a year or two ago. Andrejs showed me the basics, and I took off like a rocket! (There are many puddles and stains to mark my path.) I cooked my first chicken and rice soup from scratch last week... including the chicken stock! ALL from scratch. Not one thing came pre-made or canned! It tasted great (I know by instinct, smell, tongue tastes and reactions.) I don't eat chicken. I love to cook. I love it when Andrejs is eating something good and wholesome and healthy and tasty, which I have made.
I am a knitter and I crochet. I am obsessed. They are my zen meditation equivalents. I learned how to do each in November, and have been going nearly nonstop. I have made and given away approximately two scarves, ten hats and two purses. I have one more purse done, a backpack almost done, a change purse done... and a hat and some headbands. I can't wait to do more change purses and pouches... and just got a package of every size knitting needle in bamboo for only $18 from China on Ebay!!! Soon, I will grow bamboo and make my own.
I want us to build a house. I want to spin my own yarn. I want to make natural dyes. I want a goat (or two or more). My goat will provide me with hair for yarn and milk for cheese... and it will mow the lawn by eating it! I want bee hives. I want greenhouses and gardens and mushrooms. I want to make my own mead... and wine... and beer. I want to live by the water. I might want chickens... but they are weird animals. Still, fresh eggs would be cool.
I make my own kombucha and water kefir. The cultures are amazing!!! They are like pets to me and I care a great deal for the life-forms they are and the health and goodness they provide to Andrejs and I. I have three jars of each.
We quit drinking again. I could have gotten drunk today. I really want some psychedelic drugs. I miss K. There is no acid in CA. I don't smoke pot. One day I will make my own alcohol... and we will work on gardens and in film during the summer and spring and fall... and by winter the brews will be ready and work will be slow and it will be colder (though I want to live in a moderate climate in Arizona or something similar)... and we will enjoy our drinking when the time of year is right to drink... the way it was in the nature of things... and life will be good.
Soon, we'll start making solar panels. Maybe we'll make a horizontal wind turbine... otherwise, we'll buy one when the time comes. One day, we'll build an electric car... that's gonna be fun!
Life... is good. I finally know what I want and I am surrounded by the things that I truly love... nice and simple. And even on days like today, when the sun didn't quite make it out... and we didn't quite fix the car (well, it ended up breaking more... but tomorrow we'll fix it more... (ps our volvo 1990 240 dl wagon is the sexiest and best car on earth, probably... to be continued later!))... and we woke up kind of crabby and pretty early... and we have no work and we are almost out of money... well, even on days like this: when I step out of the frustration and think about it all... I'm still smiling all around. I'm happy the way most people tell you that you can't be happy. And I believed them; once. But, now... I guess I've proved other-wise.
Denielle S. Rose - May 30, 2009
Denielle S. Rose - May 30, 2009
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