A flame reignited inside of me,
warm and glowing.
But, scared by flame's touch
I am hesitant to move…
to breathe
as breath fuels fire.
Life.
Keep the embers glowing,
but beware.
I don't know how to approach this.
I see a beauty within me.
Beauty sees beauty. Feels beauty. Wants beauty.
Ignite.
Step back,
with regret.
I am afraid of what this flame could do to you,
and what your reaction could do to me.
So, I sit within these walls
forced into anti-apathy,
defined as…
too much feeling to deal with
so heart and mind deny feeling
until each is capable of sorting through the confusion.
This begins the new chapter.
This introduces the conflict.
Each day passing,
its pages are filled with emptiness
and feeling as though something is missing in the plot,
I am filled with disappointment.
Yet, I see potential.
I see what it is that I want.
Pen out of ink…
Life lacking energy,
these walls seem impenetrable
in this moment.
I want to play,
but cannot move.
I want to run
without running into walls.
I want to scream,
but have no voice.
I want love,
but cannot feel.
Want to feel,
but can only think.
Want to think clearly,
but, can't hold onto a million thoughts racing through my head
as I try to plot my next step.
Cold nights alone.
Teased by oxygen-starved flame.
Racing mind.
Writhing heart.
Meaningless responsibilities thrash before me.
Looking for an outlet to survive,
I stop
and wave goodbye
as the pieces of my life shatter and fall around me.
Confusing speechless spectators,
I glance at my audience and shrug.
Rescue effort, failed.
I have tried to catch these pieces…
…hold up these walls.
Experience is telling me to let go
as I sense I could be buried in an instant,
and frozen bones are fragile bones.
This destruction is unintentional…
I did not crack this shell.
The hammer is not in my hands,
but in my mind
connected to my heart.
As excitement builds
and feelings grow,
the hammer pounds.
And while hammers build houses,
they also tear them down.
I've learned home is where the heart is,
so there I will plant my soul.
But, slow and deliberate are the movements of the carpenter,
and I want to dance in my house.
II.
Tonight I sit, cold.
Mind's spinning slowed to a manageable pace,
still, not moving forward.
A day filled with anticipation of a night out.
Killed by indecision, exhaustion
and fear of misrepresenting passionate spirit
by twisted mind.
My stomach rumbles,
filling me with frustration that
as I try to make my dreams come true,
I am left hungry,
due to methods of control that kill the soul,
and drive us into consumer spending
happiness…
Selling children smiles by sacrificing children.
Selling bouncing breasts and asses,
so you can blow your wad
of cash
infecting lives of women, breasts deflated with hunger and poverty
asses sore with twenty hour, breakless labor stretches
and urine at their feet
Consumer saves a nickel
but cannot save their souls
as they pass it to the rich and powerful few,
who have no control over me.
Art saved my soul,
As I found beauty.
I saw beauty.
I heard beauty.
I felt beauty.
I AM beauty.
I will find my voice in art
and tell it to the world!
And…
while this cloud eats my brain, which tears at my soul
I will believe anything if it holds promise.
Hope.
So tonight,
my empty stomach and quiet heart
look to the stars for guidance.
My mind fills with fairy tales,
not of Prince Charming or a shining knight…
but, of Ugly ducklings and rose-filled eye sockets,
of Sunflower Sutra.
I allow myself to feel a slight warmth from
my soul's glow
but, do not stand too close.
My victory over clouded mind
is exhausted, hungry
and alone.
Existing somewhere between numb and uncomfortable,
with a head full of dreams.
My world.
Comfortable and beautiful..
Smiling, I see us there
sharing ideas and realizing dreams.
I want to be silly.
To laugh,
and play
sing
create
learn
invent
explore
and touch
and in the moments I feel overwhelmed…
cry into you as my eyes celebrate the beauty of it all.
This is my fairy tale…
my motivation to keep moving.
To experience each moment of beauty;
love and sadness
joy and pain
isolation
connection, excitement and fear
in the life I am moving through.
The life that I am running towards
clumsily stumbling towards
arms stretched out before me.
Running sideways and forward at the same time
trying to see and embrace what surrounds me…
anxious to embrace all that lies ahead.
But,
it seems I am only left spinning in circles.
And, if this dizziness
and this fall…
If it's all part of a game…
then I will play along
and laugh my way through it.
But tonight…
as I sit here
Alone and cold.
Hungry.
Struggling just to get up off the porch and go inside,
it does not feel like a game.
Denielle Rose
-March 5th-7th, 2006
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
19 April 2010
Healing or hurting... Somtimes it's the same.
Be STILL, heart
Quiet now...
it'll be okay.
Stay calm, heart
WithOut you
I will find my way
If you decide to move again
you're likely to break
into a thousand tiny pieces that I will have to take
and mend
into some semblance of what I think was you.
This is too much
The things you put me through.
And I just don't understand what it is that you do
to break and twist distort contort reality and
truth.
It has become remarkably clear
you have no home,
you'll never fit here.
So rest, my heart.
Be quiet now, please.
Forget this place and I'll try not to tease
your sensitive senses and passionate flow
of love and emotions that just do not know
when to stop.
See, you don't belong here.
It's now clear to me
You're alone loud or quiet
so just let me be
...alone...
I know there exists
a place for you
somewhere.
And, when i will find it, is neither here nor there,
as it is not here and we haven't gotten there.
So, rest, heart
be still
and I promise I will
set
you
free
when the time is right
and you can burst out with all of your might and
passion and fury
... blaze the world with your light.
But...
on a one on one basis you BLAST people's heads
and cause them to question love
and its true intent
...all from one lonely heart...
craving company
from hearts that can love it back
passion and beauty
and life.
ahhh but heart of illusions
this is reality
Life was much easier denying you exist
And I could shine much brighter when I could dismiss
true
underlying
emotion
passionate love of life...
to gaze,
not blaze beauty
...shine a light for all
to see
but not to feel
this feeling's splitting me in two
leaving me empty.
My soul squirms and cries,
all because of you,
sweet heart
yes, you had to start
your burning explosion of passion and love.
So rest, heart PLEASE! rest
'Till you learn not to shove
me around.
Be quiet now, heart
as I lock you away.
Be still heart
Don't panic
Everything's okay
oh heart, cold and calm
as I throw away this key
this time, please listen
...and don't try to break free.
Denielle S. Rose February 16, 2006
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
Quiet now...
it'll be okay.
Stay calm, heart
WithOut you
I will find my way
If you decide to move again
you're likely to break
into a thousand tiny pieces that I will have to take
and mend
into some semblance of what I think was you.
This is too much
The things you put me through.
And I just don't understand what it is that you do
to break and twist distort contort reality and
truth.
It has become remarkably clear
you have no home,
you'll never fit here.
So rest, my heart.
Be quiet now, please.
Forget this place and I'll try not to tease
your sensitive senses and passionate flow
of love and emotions that just do not know
when to stop.
See, you don't belong here.
It's now clear to me
You're alone loud or quiet
so just let me be
...alone...
I know there exists
a place for you
somewhere.
And, when i will find it, is neither here nor there,
as it is not here and we haven't gotten there.
So, rest, heart
be still
and I promise I will
set
you
free
when the time is right
and you can burst out with all of your might and
passion and fury
... blaze the world with your light.
But...
on a one on one basis you BLAST people's heads
and cause them to question love
and its true intent
...all from one lonely heart...
craving company
from hearts that can love it back
passion and beauty
and life.
ahhh but heart of illusions
this is reality
Life was much easier denying you exist
And I could shine much brighter when I could dismiss
true
underlying
emotion
passionate love of life...
to gaze,
not blaze beauty
...shine a light for all
to see
but not to feel
this feeling's splitting me in two
leaving me empty.
My soul squirms and cries,
all because of you,
sweet heart
yes, you had to start
your burning explosion of passion and love.
So rest, heart PLEASE! rest
'Till you learn not to shove
me around.
Be quiet now, heart
as I lock you away.
Be still heart
Don't panic
Everything's okay
oh heart, cold and calm
as I throw away this key
this time, please listen
...and don't try to break free.
Denielle S. Rose February 16, 2006
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
Here I go again...
Life drains out of me
in an empty yellow bottle
prescribed to me over the summer
in a fury of passion
sex
and drive for life
Madness
splitting head
in two worlds
of my reality
which is not real
but fantacy of substance.
Energy gone
I was hopeful that my realit
could help me push through
a short time between doctors
a miniscule time without
paper
pills
Sleep.
The thing I hate
is all I found
my life to be full of.
... and food.
My horrible attempt
to find energy and life.
Body hungry for something.
Self-medicated fatness.
Mental distortion rushing in
with each bite.
Energy gone.
No contact.
No talk.
No touch.
No medicine
on this day of love.
I have love...
but, don't have the energy
to express it
as lately its expression
has returned
nothing
but waiting
for some response
some sign
of some thing
someone
anything that
I can pretend
is warm.
I feel love
which travels away
in minds like my own
that cannot find
an outlet or expression
and eats the soul
as we eat ourselves
and eat our pills
and exist day to day
trying to consume life
and beauty.
Warning!
Do not stop taking medication
abruptly
as lack of it
will lead to withdrawl.
I am withdrawn
from life
from love
from passion
from beauty
...waiting...
for my prescription
which at least gives me the ability
to focus on something
beautiful.
Denielle S. Rose February 14, 2006
in an empty yellow bottle
prescribed to me over the summer
in a fury of passion
sex
and drive for life
Madness
splitting head
in two worlds
of my reality
which is not real
but fantacy of substance.
Energy gone
I was hopeful that my realit
could help me push through
a short time between doctors
a miniscule time without
paper
pills
Sleep.
The thing I hate
is all I found
my life to be full of.
... and food.
My horrible attempt
to find energy and life.
Body hungry for something.
Self-medicated fatness.
Mental distortion rushing in
with each bite.
Energy gone.
No contact.
No talk.
No touch.
No medicine
on this day of love.
I have love...
but, don't have the energy
to express it
as lately its expression
has returned
nothing
but waiting
for some response
some sign
of some thing
someone
anything that
I can pretend
is warm.
I feel love
which travels away
in minds like my own
that cannot find
an outlet or expression
and eats the soul
as we eat ourselves
and eat our pills
and exist day to day
trying to consume life
and beauty.
Warning!
Do not stop taking medication
abruptly
as lack of it
will lead to withdrawl.
I am withdrawn
from life
from love
from passion
from beauty
...waiting...
for my prescription
which at least gives me the ability
to focus on something
beautiful.
Denielle S. Rose February 14, 2006
Three titleless old poems...
Sudden Desire.
The moon calls out to me tonight.
Impulsive, desire.
Soft glow highlights
Hard Muscle. Warm flesh.
Shimmering light on sparkling wet lips. Quivering
anticipation. My senses tingle.
I want to feel alive, tonight.
Moons suggestive whisper, persistant.
I want to be filled tonight. Fulfilled.
Gentle touch.
Firm penetration.
Thrusting desperation. Electric connection. Beautiful gaze.
Lust. Passion. Spiritual discharge.
Moonlight ecstasy.
Burning sensual desire builds
hearing nothing but moons luring song.
Presented only with disheartening reality;
I am my only companion tonight.
The moon turns its back on me.
___________________________________________________________________________
Everything I touch goes bad.
Curiosity propels my gentle prod.
Exploration drives my fixed gaze.
Desire pushes me to want more.
I cannot help myself
...I have no self control.
Everything I touch goes mad.
Trapped inside myself.
In my struggle to reach out
...break free
I destroy my surroundings
in a burst of energy
My energy propels me.
Existing on feeling
and beauty overlooked.
Cursed.
I'll find treasures you'll never know,
only to see them burn in my passion.
___________________________________________________________________________
Sad emptiness
is all that fills me.
Though, I desire much more.
Dark night.
...memories of excitement,
as staleness creeps in.
Deafening silence.
...I am trapped within myself.
I want
...need to break free.
Escape. Annihilate.
Drowned in my own existence
in an illusion of experience.
Importance.
Unidentified needs
bury me in confusion
and I cannot help myself.
I will never be normal.
I will never be full.
Time passes without me
locked in this impenetrable world.
Alone.
Denielle S. Rose - 2005
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
The moon calls out to me tonight.
Impulsive, desire.
Soft glow highlights
Hard Muscle. Warm flesh.
Shimmering light on sparkling wet lips. Quivering
anticipation. My senses tingle.
I want to feel alive, tonight.
Moons suggestive whisper, persistant.
I want to be filled tonight. Fulfilled.
Gentle touch.
Firm penetration.
Thrusting desperation. Electric connection. Beautiful gaze.
Lust. Passion. Spiritual discharge.
Moonlight ecstasy.
Burning sensual desire builds
hearing nothing but moons luring song.
Presented only with disheartening reality;
I am my only companion tonight.
The moon turns its back on me.
___________________________________________________________________________
Everything I touch goes bad.
Curiosity propels my gentle prod.
Exploration drives my fixed gaze.
Desire pushes me to want more.
I cannot help myself
...I have no self control.
Everything I touch goes mad.
Trapped inside myself.
In my struggle to reach out
...break free
I destroy my surroundings
in a burst of energy
My energy propels me.
Existing on feeling
and beauty overlooked.
Cursed.
I'll find treasures you'll never know,
only to see them burn in my passion.
___________________________________________________________________________
Sad emptiness
is all that fills me.
Though, I desire much more.
Dark night.
...memories of excitement,
as staleness creeps in.
Deafening silence.
...I am trapped within myself.
I want
...need to break free.
Escape. Annihilate.
Drowned in my own existence
in an illusion of experience.
Importance.
Unidentified needs
bury me in confusion
and I cannot help myself.
I will never be normal.
I will never be full.
Time passes without me
locked in this impenetrable world.
Alone.
Denielle S. Rose - 2005
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
Stealing an idea...
Ready to burst with feeling. Desire. For something more close. To feel forever... to get lost... to be found... To be felt. A look in our eyes, in my eyes... what is unspoken speaks so loudly... but, I can't tell if it is your voice or mine... or the two singing together... but, it sounds so sweet. t feels so perfect. Too perfect... because there is no such thing as perfect... except for what feels right in the moment. Moment to moment... I want a moment. I had a moment... I felt. I desire more. I have so much doubt... in myself. I am so scared of realizing this is a dream.
Stuck. I don't know how to move.. I want to dance... I want to shout and sing... I want to hold. I want to explore. I want to rest. I want to take my time, and enjoy myself... but, my fear makes me run away... before you do. And, it is this fear. The doubt. The overwhelming sadness. The great. The passion. The undescribable comfort. It is all of this that makes me lonely.
I have tired emotions. I want to pour out my love. I want to make the world beautiful. I want to breath life into everything. But, you can not give CPR to someone who breathes on their own.
The feeling is more dramatic than the reality... but, I never paid attention to what was real.
Oh... smile. Smile for me... no, smile from me. For you. What can I give? I only have love. I only have passion... and, it is yours. What I need, most do not... I cannot require or request. Just hope...
-Denielle Rose January 20, 2006
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
Stuck. I don't know how to move.. I want to dance... I want to shout and sing... I want to hold. I want to explore. I want to rest. I want to take my time, and enjoy myself... but, my fear makes me run away... before you do. And, it is this fear. The doubt. The overwhelming sadness. The great. The passion. The undescribable comfort. It is all of this that makes me lonely.
I have tired emotions. I want to pour out my love. I want to make the world beautiful. I want to breath life into everything. But, you can not give CPR to someone who breathes on their own.
The feeling is more dramatic than the reality... but, I never paid attention to what was real.
Oh... smile. Smile for me... no, smile from me. For you. What can I give? I only have love. I only have passion... and, it is yours. What I need, most do not... I cannot require or request. Just hope...
-Denielle Rose January 20, 2006
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
Holding on to a feeling.
A warm glowing light
was handed to me.
Hungry, I held on
as it penetrated my soul
and made me warm.
A bird called my name
with a beautiful song.
Lonely, I listened
recognizing its song
as what my heart was crying out.
Laughter filled my lungs,
passion filled my soul,
love filled my heart..
As a heart so big
it is unfitting for this world,
loved me, for a moment.
And I knew I..d been blest.
Lightning moves sideways
between us.
In an instant. Connection
electrifies my soul.
For the first time
I am alive again!
Denielle Rose - January 17, 2006
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
was handed to me.
Hungry, I held on
as it penetrated my soul
and made me warm.
A bird called my name
with a beautiful song.
Lonely, I listened
recognizing its song
as what my heart was crying out.
Laughter filled my lungs,
passion filled my soul,
love filled my heart..
As a heart so big
it is unfitting for this world,
loved me, for a moment.
And I knew I..d been blest.
Lightning moves sideways
between us.
In an instant. Connection
electrifies my soul.
For the first time
I am alive again!
Denielle Rose - January 17, 2006
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
This was an important start...
This changes nothing…
a scribble of words…
an attempt to catch a thought.
The cycle is faster now,
heavy on the top, hollow in the center.
Spinning emptiness.
A rant…
of little purpose or relevance.
My eyes conspire against me.
Heavy, they trick me into sleep.
I’ve lost, once more…
…surrendering to the void of exhaustion…
I was alone. Again.
A feeling.
Such a small thing to let shake us. Hurt us.
Ecstasy.
Irrationalities.
Move me!
In, around and on me.
I crave beauty more and more each day.
The beauty of a soul.
Darkness. Fear. Agonizing and beautiful.
My heart is racing…
Electric connection, oh so brief.
Calm. Stillness.
My energy chemically balanced as it pours through me.
A rise of my chest
up to my eyes who’s tearless nature deny its dissipation.
Moving me moving me move in me.
I want to see more through my fingertips…
penetrating layers, my mind peers in awe.
Flesh. Bone. Flesh…
Soft.
A quiet calm as I trace its figure in my mind.
My fingers explore.
Hair. Bone. A dip. A curve.
Foundation of the spirit.
I selfishly consume.
Insatiable hunger.
A waist…
Tender, yet solid.
My senses quiver as I slowly stroll to the hip.
I stay.
Overwhelming beauty.
Most sensual sight.
I know this cannot last forever
and I will be left. Alone…hungry.
I crave to be seen…
…and to see myself through the touch of another…
the only way I feel soft and beautiful.
No one gazes.
My beauty lies deep.
Penetrate my surface! Help me find my soul.
Loneliness.
Alone I wander down my path.
Alone.
A wandering junkie…I need more. Need more. Need more.
Alone.
Energy bounding, mind racing, thoughts spinning.
Someone…help me.
No one hears my whispered plea…
There is no one to tell.
My energy. My demons. My angels…
They have driven everyone away.
My treasure has been buried too deep,
draining those who have tried to dig.
Wearily…
they have moved to something more rewarding.
I move. Wander.
Driven by cravings.
Live life, live life. Love and life. Beauty.
Dreaded boredom. Persistent. Strong.
Most awful boredom…accentuating my lonely emptiness.
Anxiety isolates me.
Boredom. Isolation. Loneliness. Hunger. Live! Life. Beauty. Flesh. Spirit. Soul.
Lone traveler. Driven by energy.
Spinning. Cycles of thought. Emptiness.
Full of emptiness.
Where did it go?
A birth defect? Or was it taken in my childhood?
Maybe I left it somewhere. The playground? The bedroom? Under a pile of laundry?
I will never be normal.
Don’t want to be, anyway.
Conversing with my thoughts…my company…
the only thing that has stayed with me over time.
I have befriended myself.
Together we search…driven down my path…leading somewhere.
Possibilities spinning. Racing. Cycles of thought. Internal conversation.
I laugh at my cleverness and turn to share my joy.
No one is there.
Lonliness.
I move forward. Driven by energy. Moving. Racing. Going somewhere.
Possibilities wide open.
My path is sweet and pretty.
There is promise in its destination.
Child-like excitement. I want to jump and roll around.
Excitement…energy…reaches my chest…a rush…rising…
my eyes lift their gates as it pours from me in a quick rush.
Hopeful excitement. Dreams of beauty.
I catch my reflection
and gaze, only for a second.
Who’s that?
Yes, I know you.
My beauty gazes back at me, and I want to cry in recognition of it’s empty, longing stare.
I am moving…hurrying along.
Stay focused. Keep going. Moving, spinning, racing.
Wishing a conversation was there to help me. Energize me.
Distract me from the pain in my body.
To fill the emptiness of my soul.
Craving. Craving. Craving.
I move forward.
An occasional encounter.
Intersecting paths.
Beautiful stranger.
I touch hesitantly.
Devour and then left. Alone.
Moving, racing, spinning.
Gazing at my path I miss nothing but all that others see.
Moving, racing, building tension.
Rising anxiety, welling emotion…
my eyes deny me, again.
Cycled emotion. Bittersweet beauty. Anxiety. Loneliness.
To exchange just one word.
Someone!
Needing contact. Brief is okay. Connection. Release.
One word… Just one word .
Even just to hear one word. See a silhouette. Something. Something.
Someone.
I move along my path. Driven.
I search for beauty.
Moving, racing, spinning.
Endless possibilities ahead.
A whisper . Shhhh…
Beauty. Moving. The voice hisses softly…
‘ Your existence…A drive…Leads you on a path
which may lead nowhere …'
-Denielle Rose / August, 2005
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
a scribble of words…
an attempt to catch a thought.
The cycle is faster now,
heavy on the top, hollow in the center.
Spinning emptiness.
A rant…
of little purpose or relevance.
My eyes conspire against me.
Heavy, they trick me into sleep.
I’ve lost, once more…
…surrendering to the void of exhaustion…
I was alone. Again.
A feeling.
Such a small thing to let shake us. Hurt us.
Ecstasy.
Irrationalities.
Move me!
In, around and on me.
I crave beauty more and more each day.
The beauty of a soul.
Darkness. Fear. Agonizing and beautiful.
My heart is racing…
Electric connection, oh so brief.
Calm. Stillness.
My energy chemically balanced as it pours through me.
A rise of my chest
up to my eyes who’s tearless nature deny its dissipation.
Moving me moving me move in me.
I want to see more through my fingertips…
penetrating layers, my mind peers in awe.
Flesh. Bone. Flesh…
Soft.
A quiet calm as I trace its figure in my mind.
My fingers explore.
Hair. Bone. A dip. A curve.
Foundation of the spirit.
I selfishly consume.
Insatiable hunger.
A waist…
Tender, yet solid.
My senses quiver as I slowly stroll to the hip.
I stay.
Overwhelming beauty.
Most sensual sight.
I know this cannot last forever
and I will be left. Alone…hungry.
I crave to be seen…
…and to see myself through the touch of another…
the only way I feel soft and beautiful.
No one gazes.
My beauty lies deep.
Penetrate my surface! Help me find my soul.
Loneliness.
Alone I wander down my path.
Alone.
A wandering junkie…I need more. Need more. Need more.
Alone.
Energy bounding, mind racing, thoughts spinning.
Someone…help me.
No one hears my whispered plea…
There is no one to tell.
My energy. My demons. My angels…
They have driven everyone away.
My treasure has been buried too deep,
draining those who have tried to dig.
Wearily…
they have moved to something more rewarding.
I move. Wander.
Driven by cravings.
Live life, live life. Love and life. Beauty.
Dreaded boredom. Persistent. Strong.
Most awful boredom…accentuating my lonely emptiness.
Anxiety isolates me.
Boredom. Isolation. Loneliness. Hunger. Live! Life. Beauty. Flesh. Spirit. Soul.
Lone traveler. Driven by energy.
Spinning. Cycles of thought. Emptiness.
Full of emptiness.
Where did it go?
A birth defect? Or was it taken in my childhood?
Maybe I left it somewhere. The playground? The bedroom? Under a pile of laundry?
I will never be normal.
Don’t want to be, anyway.
Conversing with my thoughts…my company…
the only thing that has stayed with me over time.
I have befriended myself.
Together we search…driven down my path…leading somewhere.
Possibilities spinning. Racing. Cycles of thought. Internal conversation.
I laugh at my cleverness and turn to share my joy.
No one is there.
Lonliness.
I move forward. Driven by energy. Moving. Racing. Going somewhere.
Possibilities wide open.
My path is sweet and pretty.
There is promise in its destination.
Child-like excitement. I want to jump and roll around.
Excitement…energy…reaches my chest…a rush…rising…
my eyes lift their gates as it pours from me in a quick rush.
Hopeful excitement. Dreams of beauty.
I catch my reflection
and gaze, only for a second.
Who’s that?
Yes, I know you.
My beauty gazes back at me, and I want to cry in recognition of it’s empty, longing stare.
I am moving…hurrying along.
Stay focused. Keep going. Moving, spinning, racing.
Wishing a conversation was there to help me. Energize me.
Distract me from the pain in my body.
To fill the emptiness of my soul.
Craving. Craving. Craving.
I move forward.
An occasional encounter.
Intersecting paths.
Beautiful stranger.
I touch hesitantly.
Devour and then left. Alone.
Moving, racing, spinning.
Gazing at my path I miss nothing but all that others see.
Moving, racing, building tension.
Rising anxiety, welling emotion…
my eyes deny me, again.
Cycled emotion. Bittersweet beauty. Anxiety. Loneliness.
To exchange just one word.
Someone!
Needing contact. Brief is okay. Connection. Release.
One word… Just one word .
Even just to hear one word. See a silhouette. Something. Something.
Someone.
I move along my path. Driven.
I search for beauty.
Moving, racing, spinning.
Endless possibilities ahead.
A whisper . Shhhh…
Beauty. Moving. The voice hisses softly…
‘ Your existence…A drive…Leads you on a path
which may lead nowhere …'
-Denielle Rose / August, 2005
- copyright - Denielle Prokopenko Rose * 2010 *
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