Life drains out of me
in an empty yellow bottle
prescribed to me over the summer
in a fury of passion
sex
and drive for life
Madness
splitting head
in two worlds
of my reality
which is not real
but fantacy of substance.
Energy gone
I was hopeful that my realit
could help me push through
a short time between doctors
a miniscule time without
paper
pills
Sleep.
The thing I hate
is all I found
my life to be full of.
... and food.
My horrible attempt
to find energy and life.
Body hungry for something.
Self-medicated fatness.
Mental distortion rushing in
with each bite.
Energy gone.
No contact.
No talk.
No touch.
No medicine
on this day of love.
I have love...
but, don't have the energy
to express it
as lately its expression
has returned
nothing
but waiting
for some response
some sign
of some thing
someone
anything that
I can pretend
is warm.
I feel love
which travels away
in minds like my own
that cannot find
an outlet or expression
and eats the soul
as we eat ourselves
and eat our pills
and exist day to day
trying to consume life
and beauty.
Warning!
Do not stop taking medication
abruptly
as lack of it
will lead to withdrawl.
I am withdrawn
from life
from love
from passion
from beauty
...waiting...
for my prescription
which at least gives me the ability
to focus on something
beautiful.
Denielle S. Rose February 14, 2006
